My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

I Have To Come Up With A Title, Too?

Since I had my performance review this morning (which I aced, thankyouverymuch), Iíve decided to blow off the rest of the day by shopping and updating my diary. Work? Pfffft! Iím a Very Important Employee. I donít need to prove it anymore.

So, now itís really and truly spring if the monsoon winds that blew the patio table and umbrella off the deck this weekend are any indication. 70 degrees is my kind of weather! Bring it on and push pause! If things go my way (and they so often donít, so expect it to rain again), Iíll be attaching a reed/bamboo fence thing around the perimeter of the Worldís Most God Awful Deck to keep Red from falling off the side and putting my three 4x4 raised beds together so I can start my garden. Iím so country that I gathered old boards in the barn instead of buying treated lumber from Lowes. Look at me recycling! I made my husband saw them up and heís so not a sawing kind of guy. He must want something. Oh! I know what it is! One guess.

Spring Query: why, why, why do people sculpt forsythia bushes into light bulb or mushroom shapes? A forsythia bush should never never never be butchered like that! Ever! It hurts their feelings and they are mocked by the free-flowing ones across the road. A forsythia bush is SUPPOSED to be wild and free. Its lovely yellow tendrils are supposed to wave in the breeze and grow however they choose! If you have one in your yard, please for the love of Whatever, do not touch it! It knows what its doing. Thank you, the Gardening Council.

And, may I just state here how much I detest Daylight Savings Time? I do not ever need that much daylight. It wreaks havoc on my body and the bodies of my children. It means that instead of Red waking up at 6:30am, ready to go, sheís up at 5:30am. It means that Dusty cried all morning yesterday because she was tired. She went to bed like normal but somehow missing that extra hour really did a number on her. Is this fair? Itís ridiculous and the whole thing is based on us not letting Great Britain get ahead of us. If it was good enough for England, itís bloody hell good enough fer us! I say, write your Congressman and demand that this travesty be stopped! Itís truly horrible to get in your car first thing in the morning and have the clock mockingly glow 7:30am at your late ass. Enough is enough!!

The DST hell must explain why I tuned to NBC last night to watch what I thought was going to be a two-hour show about Mork and Mindy. I HAD to watch because I was puzzled as to why THIS show of all the television shows in the world deserved any amount of reflection. Had Robin Williams died? Sadly, no. Then, the true horror of the thing revealed itself. This wasnít a ďlook back in timeĒ thing. No. This was a television MOVIE about the SITCOM Mork and Mindy. Holy. God. The only thing worse than Robin Williams? Is somebody playing Robin Williams. He must be the most annoying human on the planet and how anyone can stand to be around him, is beyond me.

During the Divorce Years, I watched a lot of television. A lot. And I wasnít choosy. I watched every episode of Mork and Mindy, Threeís Company, Hello Larry, Happy Days, Benson, Itís a Living, Facts of LifeÖÖ.whatever was on, I watched it. Depressed? Most definitely. Which is why I couldnít understand why M&M rated a two-hour movie. I mean, Benson was a better show. Silver Spoons I take that back. Silver Spoons was much, much worse. I didnít watch more than half an hour of it, and I watched that long mostly because I had trouble reaching for the remote due to my shock-n-awe that such a thing was a) somebodyís idea for a great Tuesday night movie, b) that some network exec thought it was a good idea, too, and c) that it actually got made. Can you imagine? Damn, people.

So, to rinse the bad taste out of your mouth, hereís a Dusty Quote for you:

ďAfter my bath, letís play. Youíre the kid and Iím the mom. Youíre the mom every day so itís my turn to be the mom.Ē


3:01 p.m. ::
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