My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

Change Your Mind and Your Ass Will Follow

The scene: a dark Friday morning, Vince Guaraldi's "The Charlie Brown Suite" is playing, Red's in her car seat watching the rain fall. The wheels of the car make a hissing sound on the road and all is right with the

Wait, back up. What was that word?

What word?

There was a word in there I didn't understand.


No, that wasn't it. Started with an "r".

Red? She's my daughter.

No, no. Not that!


Be serious.

I am! Why wouldn't I be? Rain? Was that the word?

Rain! Yeah, that's it! You mean it's raining?

Fucking A, it's raining! First rain in six or seven weeks! A nice, warm soaking rain that means it's really, truly autumn.

Is it State Fair week?

No, but you're right. It almost always rains when the State Fair's here. But not this year. We almost had to start cracking down on the water use, what with our shallow well and all.

So, that hissing noise. That's rubber on wet pavement?



I agree.


So, everyone's better. My husband toted the kids to the doctor on Tuesday because they both looked and sounded like warmed over shit. I went to work. Verdict: Dusty had strep, Red did not. Both came home with bottles of Augmentin. Red's nose continued to run intermittently and I stayed home with her on Wednesday. We played outside most of the day. We both took a long, deep nap (bliss!) and then went back outside. I weeded and she played in the gravel. She perfected walking up and down the porch stairs. She filled my palm with gravel and then raked it out again. Filled it and emptied it. Filled, emptied. She chased the barn cats and ran to the fence to shriek at the horses. Red loves her some animals. They feel slightly differently about her but that's understandable. Red's a bit intense.

Speaking of animals, as Dusty and I were headed home yesterday, we passed a paddock full of sheep and lambs.

"Awww! I wish I could be a lamb," Dusty said.


"So when I saw people, I could gallop up to the fence."

"So they could pet your nose?"

"Yeah, and so I could lick their hands."


This just in, courtesy of some kuntry church I pass every day on the way to work: "Jesus never changes his mind," reads the marquee. So, Jesus is as stubborn and bullheaded as George W? That, no matter what new evidence is presented to him to the contrary of what he believes, he'll refuse to accept it? Wonderful. Now I have even one more reason to be the Happy Atheist.

Happy wet Friday, y'all.


9:02 a.m. ::
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