My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

Life with Red

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Red stays home with my husband. Back when Dusty was small, he taught T/Th classes so they were together three days a week. Red just gets two because that's life and teaching schedules (not to mention entire university departments) change.

When Dusty and I get home on Red's "stay-home" days (as Dusty calls them), the first thing she wants to know is what her sister did that was good and what she did that was bad. My husband began keeping lists for her so we could all laugh at Red's hilarious hi-jinks over dinner. Here's a compilation of the last few weeks' worth of lists. Unfortunately, you can't see the funny baby drawings my husband adds to the list. One of them includes a punker-type baby with a snarly mouth and a big A for anarchy (an A with a slash thru it) on its rumpled t-shirt. It's got a fat baby fist in the air and is shouting "Oy!" Ha. It doesn't take much to amuse me, as I'm sure you've figured out by now.

So, without further ado, I present to you Bad Baby/Good Baby lists (also known as How Red Spends Her Days). I think you'll notice a few common themes:

Bad Baby

• Got pumpernickel crumbs in sock drawer.
• Threw grapes over bathroom gate.
• Threw board books over the gate into the bathroom – 6 or 8 of 'em. Very loud!
• While on sofa, bashed head against the wall for fun. Three times.
• Tried eating rocks.
• Drew on kitchen floor. Again.
• Crumbled up lots of food (bread).
• Crayon used on wooden blocks, trunk, everything...
• Crumbled food.
• Wouldn't share crayons.
• Screaming!!
• Threw grapes on floor and stomped on them with her foot.
• Bashed head into my ear really hard.
• Had to move chair in family room back around – kept poking at painting and dropping stuff between the bookcase and the chair.*
• Bad behavior during diaper changes.**
• Slamming glass vanilla bottle into glass door, etc…

Good Baby

• Looked at books by herself.
• Discovered that the fuzzy circle [in a wooden shapes puzzle] will fit in hexagon slot.
• Hearty eater!
• Behaved well outside.
• Wore extra pair of pants – both legs in one pants leg – and walked around in them.
• More fun stomping around in big shoes.
• Made funny faces, gestures, dancing.
• Move hi-chair all around kitchen.
• Lots of walking like Frankenstein [arms held out in front of her, zombie-like].
• Crouch-walking while holding knees.
• Hi-energy couch hijinks.
• Hid inside play sink a lot [a large wooden Creative Playthings stove/sink combo with sliding doors below – large enough to fit two toddlers!].
• Lots of hat wearing, including Grandma Doodles hat.

* This is a huge 1930's upholstered chair with arms that has been turned around to face a bookshelf so that Red cannot climb into it. First this was done when she had first learned to climb up into things but didn't know how to get down. We feared she would fall face-first onto the floor. Now, whenever the chair is facing the right way, she pokes and picks at a large painting next to it that rests on the bookshelf. And, she drops what's she's playing with down into a dark void. This makes her very angry. It's just easier to keep her out of the chair although the turned chair makes the room look very strange.

** Red has the MOST annoying habit these days of reaching down "there" and feeling around her whole area, which, in and of itself is fine. I have no problem with bodily exploration, in general. But, when there is poo down there (usually lots), her exploration is another matter. Her hands move quick as lightning. She's giggling in anticipation before the diaper's even removed. Let's just say that sometimes it takes two people to change a diaper. Can't wait for her to get interested in the potty.

And there you have it: Life with Toddler. It ain't pretty but at least it's entertaining.


11:27 a.m. ::
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