My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

April Showers

2006-04-24
God, I'm so unbelievably unmotivated today. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just that I had a pretty decent weekend that was almost toddler tantrum-free and now I'm back at work with not a lot to do.

I got things done this weekend, I got out of the house, nobody had to be killed. After two solid days of constant rain and not just your light 'n' happy spring tra-la kind of rain. We're talking torrential downpours with scary lightning Sunday eventually turned sunny and warm. And, Red hit a major milestone.

But, I'll get to all that momentarily. First, a few more choice tidbits from Friday's housewife manual:

Chapter IV: How to Plan Your Meals

"Don't you sometimes wonder what you have to show for the time and thought you spend on the family meals? Three meals a day, seven days a week on and on, year after year? No business man cares to "plod away" unless his work gains significance, and why should you, you may have thought resentfully. Yet yours more than any other occupation has compensations to offer.

"Look at your children's rosy cheeks and happy dispositions; your husband's good health, the general feeling of content and happiness that pervades your home. All these are a result of your thought and planning, and surely they are worth all the energy they cost."

Surely. Otherwise I might have to take some oven measurements and see if more than just my head fits in there.

"When there are left-overs to be used up, plan to disguise them. Souffles and croquettes are not recognizable as Sunday's roast, and crisp fritters with cheese sauce will be spurned by no one even if they are the survivors of last night's vegetables. And whenever your ingenuity fails look into this little book for friendly help."

My "friendly help" is more likely in my refrigerator or the medicine cabinet. Oui?

Chapter V: Deep Fat Frying

"Frying is the one phase of cooking of which the average housewife has still a lot to learn. Either she fries food haphazardly, ignorant of the scientific principles back [sic] of the process, and with sad results to her family's digestions; or, believing that all fried foods are indigestible, she veers to the other extreme and entirely avoids frying."

Call me an extremist then. I'll pass.

Chapter IX: Fish

"As most fish is deficient in fat it should be cooked so that fat enters into its preparation in some way. In every case Crisco "just fills the bill." In baking...cooking in Crisco is the best possible means of securing delicious, easily digested sea food."

Why didn't the Japanese think of that? Damn, we ARE smarter than every other culture! And so much fatter!

Chapter XIX: Desserts and Sauces

"Fruits have become more and more popular as desserts since we realized their very real value as a food."

And, that would have been, when exactly? The dawn of time? 1928? Same diff.

Chapter XXII: Specialty Dishes

"In the heart of every true homemaker lies the desire to be a good hostess. It is as natural as the desire to be beautiful!"

You know? I'm feeling...less than beautiful right now so perhaps it's time to get back to REALITY. Wanna come with me? Good.

So Saturday. My sister and her craft guild held a big craft shindig downtown way downtown. I took Red and, even though the rain was coming down in kegs (sorry, I'm always thinking in terms of beer, it seems), I brought the umbrella stroller along. Umbrella stroller, get it? Ha I slay myself!

We parked on the street, half a block away from the festivities, and I had to make a non-human type contortion of the upper body to retrieve Red from her seat as the gutter was filled with so many inches of fast moving water I swear I saw waves forming. No lie. I carried that heavy ass kid, along with an umbrella (plain, no stroller) and my stupid in-the-way purse to the function. We got a bag (one more thing to carry) of free stuff (Yay! Free stuff!), found my sister and her business partner/best friend, bought Red a stuffed acorn toy for her birthday (not pictured on website, so I won't link) at the stall across the way, lingered, chatted, and went to the grocery store.

After a messy dinner of pizza, it was time to bathe Red. Recently, she's taken to sitting on her potty. Just sitting, trying it out for size, picking it up and toting it around the house, etc. This evening, though, she sat on it, naked, right before her bath and...PEED IN IT! Whoo! What a gal! 22 months old and peeing in the potty! Dusty came in and we both clapped and congratulated her on this milestone. Yay Red! She was quite pleased with herself and reached down into the pot just to make sure the pee was still there. It was. I then stuck her in the bathtub before she tried tasting it or something else just as undesirable.

Sunday. Not only did she pee again! before her regularly scheduled bath but she said the word "apple" when given apple slices for lunch. She had very few tantrums, too. Not sure why but probably it had a lot to do with the fact that she and Dusty played together quite a bit and had fun. And, much time was spent outside, once the sun came out. Outdoor romping soothes the savage beast just as well as music.

I finally got all my stakes up and cemented in the ground so that I can put up my critter-be-gone fence around the vegetable garden. Dusty and I planted sunflower seeds by the wall of the barn and in and among the groundhog's lair as a surprise for him. Hope he likes his new garden! If they make it, I'll take pictures of the sunflowers when they emerge.

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12:14 p.m. ::
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