My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

Red Toils so We Can Eat the Spoils


There is a cyborg in my office. Frankly, I find it a bit annoying. I am puzzled by the need to draw that much attention to yourself once youíre past the age of, say, 18. This particular guy is known on campus for his wacky Halloween costumes and he wastes the majority of the day going office to office showing off his creativity. Which...okay. Whatever. I am a scrooge and Iím not going to apologize for it.

On Saturday, Red walked into the living room, picked up leggless Stupid and lamented, ďAwww, no yegs!Ē She promptly threw him back down on the floor. Stupid is so dissed these days. Red is not kind to the maimed.

So, yesterday I was home with sick Dusty. Her tonsils had swollen up so much so that she barely had room in her throat to breathe, much less eat. I say we were ďhomeĒ but in fact spent most of the day at the doctorís and the pharmacistís and in the car. We also picked up a Barb1e movie. God, it was dreadful but it lulled Dusty into a drowsy stupor while filling her head with ridiculous princess and prince happily-ever-after nonsense.

Fortunately, she tested negative for strep and weíre green lighted for trick-or-treating tonight. We went trick-or-treating here on campus Sunday night. The students gave out candy at the dorms and frat/sorority houses. Red was, naturally, a big hit in her adorable bunny outfit. And we raked in the good stuff.

The nice thing about trick-or-treating around trust fund students is that they buy the good candy. There wasnít a kernel of candy corn to be found! Candy corn is da nasty (and Lewis Black will back me up on this). And, because Dusty hates twizzlers, I have a drawer full of it. I love twizzlers but Dusty thinks they're da nasty. Her loss is my gain.

Shit. I had a whole list of things to mention and I canít find my list. Kinda like my book which has completely disappeared. I had it with me Saturday night. Put in on the kitchen counter Sunday morning and then...poof! Itís gone. Weíve searched the house several times and itís just nowhere. Which sucks because itís a library book and if I donít find it soon, Iíll have to pay for it. Grrr.

Well, Happy Halloween! We are headed into the Big City tonight for some serious hard-core trick-or-treating. Redís stash is 100% candy profit since I have the same age rule with candy that can be found on 98.99% of all toys: Not Intended for Children Under Three.

Next year, Iíll probably have to give in. But this year, Iím going to enjoy the fact that Red cannot have sugary things that will end up in her hair or choking her. Sheís got the rest of her life to spend in a sugary daze (and God knows they ply her with enough of the crap at daycare!). So Red will be working for us tonight. But sheíll be having a good time so itís win-win.


9:57 a.m. ::
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