My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

The Broccoli Chronicles

2006-12-31

Mwah hah hah! I am brilliant.

How can such a far-fetched thing be possible, you ask?

I just got two children to eat their weight in broccoli.

How, you wonder with amazement, did I accomplish such a feat? Even Einstein couldn't get his children to eat their vegetables! Not even Marconi or Gen. George Marshall! My God, Martin Luther King couldn't coax his children to let broccoli pass their lips! Not even with the threat of Hell!

One word, my friends: honey.

Yes, this delicious nectar of the humble bumblebee was used to con my darling young daughters into eating mounds of broccoli. And left them begging – and I do not exaggerate here - begging for more.

Usually, when faced with the solitary piece of vegetable on their dinner plates, the tots moan in agony over the thought of having to eat (or, in the case of Red, reject and toss) the nutritious green tree-like thing that stains an otherwise delightful repast. Nevermind the fact that we're bloody vegetarians!

Tonight, I suggested to Dusty that perhaps a little honey would, how you say, sweeten the burden? And, it did. Oh, how well it worked. They are so starved for sugar, the poor sad little wretches that they clamored for more! More! More! Give us more broccoli rightthisveryminute topped with lovely, lovely honey! Ohhhh, mooooore!

Between the two of them, they polished off almost an entire bunch of broccoli! Oh, their little bodies are so happy now, full of honey and dark green, vitamin-rich nutrients!

My husband watched this whole display in mild disappointment, “You all are such suckers! Man! I can't believe you fell for that!” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Hey, when I win, we all win!

*********************************************************

After naptime today, Dusty showed me her To Do list she’d written for the rest of the day. After each item was completed, she made a check mark next to it. I present it to you here, creative spelling and all:

I HAVE A NAP
MY SIS GITS UP
I GIT UP
ME AND SIS EAT A SACK
ME AND SIS PLAY
WE EAT FOOD (Dusty said she didn’t feel like figuring out how to spell “dinner”)
HAVE A BATH
PLAY SOME MORE
SIS GO TO BED
I WACH TV
I GIT FOOD
I GO TO BED

Yep. It really is that exciting around here.

Hmmm. It appears I’m wanted in the bedroom. And not by my children.

Y’all have a good New Year’s Eve – don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, sky’s the limit, don’t take any wooden nickels – and I’ll see you in ’07!

Oh, and I'll leave you with thisbrilliant little amusement. It'll put you in a good mood - and it's Sock Monkey Approved (TM)!!

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8:03 p.m. ::
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