Fill In The Blanks
My uncle once: Was badly burned in a laboratory fire. While recovering, he suffered a heart attack. Now, I think he�ll outlive us all.
Never in my life: Would I abandon my children.
When I was five: My sister was born and I could already read.
High School was: Fraught with confusion and angst.
I will never forget: To brush my teeth twice a day.
I once met: The Clash and Colleen Dewhurst. But not at the same time.
There�s this girl I know who: Hated my guts because she wanted to date my boyfriend (now my husband). Years later, she died of a blood clot in her brain.
Once, at a bar: I slept with the singer. That was a long time ago.
By noon I�m usually: Eating my sandwich in front of the computer. My keyboard is disgusting.
Last night: There was nothing on TV to watch. So I read a book instead.
If I only had: Decent furniture and clear skin.
Next time I go to church, I: Will ask myself, �What the hell am I doing in a church?�
When I turn my head left, I see: My plants and a bit of the outside world through my window.
When I turn my head right, I see: My office door and artwork, done by some obnoxious guy, hanging in the lobby.
You know I�m lying when: I can�t keep my story straight. I�m not a good liar.
What I miss most about the eighties: Nothing. MTV ruined the music and the fashions did not flatter anyone. I mean, what was with those swoopy Flock of Seagulls hairdos?
If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I�d be: Cordelia.
By this time next year: I hope both my children are sleeping soundly through the night. And my novel will be finished.
A better name for me would be: Frankly, I like my name. I wouldn�t change it.
I have a hard time understanding: What the hell is wrong with people. Why are so many people so inconsiderate?
If I ever go back to school I�ll: Clearly have gone insane.
You know I like you if: I talk to you.
If I won an award, the first person I�d thank would be: The person who nominated me.
Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens, and Geraldine Ferraro: Smart and misunderstood.
Take my advice, never: Date a guy just because he�s cute.
My ideal breakfast is: Hot coffee, a bagel with cream cheese, chocolate covered strawberries, the newspaper and QUIET.
A song I love, but do not have is: �FM� by Steely Dan
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: The museums, Carytown and Maymont Park.
Tulips, character flaws, microchips, and track stars: Lovely, inevitable, everywhere and short-lived.
Why won�t anyone: Turn out the lights when they leave the room?
If you spend the night at my house, don�t: Expect things to be clean. And, please, no snoring.
I�d stop my wedding: Long enough to sign a lucrative multi-book contract with a publisher.
The world could do without: George Bush, poverty and stupidity.
I�d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Ewww. That�s just nasty. I would make a very bad contestant on Survivor. I don�t do bugs.
My favorite blonde is: Red, my daughter.
Paper clips are more useful than: Toxic waste. But then again, what isn�t?
If I do anything well, it�s: Write, read, garden and cook.
The last time I was drunk, I: Was probably in my twenties.
And, by the way: I�m free for lunch!
