My Fresh Hell
Life in Scribbletown.

Red Toils so We Can Eat the Spoils

2006-10-31

There is a cyborg in my office. Frankly, I find it a bit annoying. I am puzzled by the need to draw that much attention to yourself once you�re past the age of, say, 18. This particular guy is known on campus for his wacky Halloween costumes and he wastes the majority of the day going office to office showing off his creativity. Which...okay. Whatever. I am a scrooge and I�m not going to apologize for it.

On Saturday, Red walked into the living room, picked up leggless Stupid and lamented, �Awww, no yegs!� She promptly threw him back down on the floor. Stupid is so dissed these days. Red is not kind to the maimed.

So, yesterday I was home with sick Dusty. Her tonsils had swollen up so much so that she barely had room in her throat to breathe, much less eat. I say we were �home� but in fact spent most of the day at the doctor�s and the pharmacist�s and in the car. We also picked up a Barb1e movie. God, it was dreadful but it lulled Dusty into a drowsy stupor while filling her head with ridiculous princess and prince happily-ever-after nonsense.

Fortunately, she tested negative for strep and we�re green lighted for trick-or-treating tonight. We went trick-or-treating here on campus Sunday night. The students gave out candy at the dorms and frat/sorority houses. Red was, naturally, a big hit in her adorable bunny outfit. And we raked in the good stuff.

The nice thing about trick-or-treating around trust fund students is that they buy the good candy. There wasn�t a kernel of candy corn to be found! Candy corn is da nasty (and Lewis Black will back me up on this). And, because Dusty hates twizzlers, I have a drawer full of it. I love twizzlers but Dusty thinks they're da nasty. Her loss is my gain.

Shit. I had a whole list of things to mention and I can�t find my list. Kinda like my book which has completely disappeared. I had it with me Saturday night. Put in on the kitchen counter Sunday morning and then...poof! It�s gone. We�ve searched the house several times and it�s just nowhere. Which sucks because it�s a library book and if I don�t find it soon, I�ll have to pay for it. Grrr.

Well, Happy Halloween! We are headed into the Big City tonight for some serious hard-core trick-or-treating. Red�s stash is 100% candy profit since I have the same age rule with candy that can be found on 98.99% of all toys: Not Intended for Children Under Three.

Next year, I�ll probably have to give in. But this year, I�m going to enjoy the fact that Red cannot have sugary things that will end up in her hair or choking her. She�s got the rest of her life to spend in a sugary daze (and God knows they ply her with enough of the crap at daycare!). So Red will be working for us tonight. But she�ll be having a good time so it�s win-win.

|

9:57 a.m. ::
prev :: next